Special Victims Unit

Yummy food from The Barrel

MoMA

Land of Talk at the Bowery Ballroom

http://www.usatoday.com/video/index.htm?bctid=72173159001#/Nudity+shocks%21+NYC+exhibit+with+naked+performers/72173159001

So Copy and paste the link above. It is an exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art that I went to. Honestly, the most confusing thing ever. What the AP tells isn't even close to what you see inside. It makes you question what defines art- and what defines bullshit.

For example, I want to tell you about two of her "works". the first involved a table with various items placed on it..knives,apples,a cupcake, rope, a loaded gun, etc. and she placed herself in the middle basicly with the directions that the public could use any of the objects and do whatever they want with them (to her). How dare someone threaten our natural ability to hurt? This one I can back up more than the next. OKAY! So they had a reel playing a video of two naked people standing back to back. The people then run into a wall (OUCH?) and proceed to walk backwards to the other person. ... rinse and repeat. When I saw this - all i could do was laugh. Honestly, this one had no point. (Or I didn't see one)

I really enjoyed the exhibit. I plan on going again before I leave and actually walking through the naked people. I'm here to break my bubble DAMN IT!

Anyways, Happy Memorial Day. It's been fun and lovely. Let's start with friday. Darla and I wandered around attempting to shop- learning that some days just aren't shopping days. She then left to see her mother and the boyfriend came in town. We went to a concert at the Bowery Ballroom (note photo above). The opening band Holopaw is from Gainsville, Fl. - so of course for my dad's honor I rep'd his alma mater and made a couple friends. If you haven't listened to them- give it a try. Boyfriend refers to them as "If Guster and Wilco had a lovechild- this would be it!"

Saturday. Food. Walking. MoMa. More food.

Sunday. Sometimes- things don't go as planned. Sometimes, even when you just want to rip out your finger nails because you are so frustrated and that would be more productive and less painful than "this"--you just got to learn to deal for the better. You look past all the shit. The ones you love will make it better. (sometimes it involves sneaking into a Museum and a little red velvet cake). Sunday was not a fail. It was growing. The vines just grew more intricate and made the wall more unique than before.

Monday. Pancakes. Froyo. Walking. Hugging. Welcoming home Darla :). Skyping.

tonight's poem is titled "Hide and Seek". Not sharing my thoughts on it tonight- too many. So instead I am going to type it out for everyone read. Enjoy :

Someone hides from someone

hides under his tongue

he looks for him under the earth

he hides in his forehead

he looks for him in the sky

he hides in his forgetting

he looks for him in the grass

looks for him looks

were doesn't he look for him

and looking for him loses himself

Fallen Giraffe

“You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.”

Steve Martin

ALRIGHTY. Well the last few days have involved little sleep- weird weather- and some dumbass moments. I'm not feeling very inspiring so I will apologize already. I'm going to leave with you a few moments of vacation that have left me double-taking and asking "What the hell?"

Coffee shop:

me: "Do you usually like your scones warmed or not..."

Darla: "Oh you know... um.. room temperature is nice"

Walking in battery park (really fucking hot that day) I see a sculpture thing outside the Jewish Heritage Museum:

me: "oh look! A fallen giraffe!"

Darla: "ummm... no?"

Me: Yes its next to the snake....

Darla: "That's a horn... and a guitar"

Sometimes I am a dumbass. The weekend to come shall have some entertaining things, i promise.

Rejuvenated Waterfall

best breakfast.

these shoes broke.my.heart.

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

-Anne Frank

The world surprises me. Always. Something always shocks me. Yesterday it was the beauty of Central Park. I heard a man play Bob Dylan, saw people get married and dreamt of a picnic with someone I consider very special. Also went to the MAD (Museum of Art and Design). A very interesting place. One piece I remember in particular was entitled "MAD COW MOTORCYCLE" . The artist covered a motorbike with bones and parts of a cow (with utters on her helmet). She rode it around Miami to make a statement about going vegihead. This did not convince me to give up cow- but it was extremely entertaining to watch the tape.

Sunday morning. Cloudy. (It might have been more like 2pm). Found a very Irish pub where the waiter walks up to hand us our menus to me very sarcastically and loud "well he was screwwin' around with that WHORE" ... (something along those lines- point is - he was very surprised with the whore). He then proceeds to ask us if we were done drinking for the day (he could read my night before like a book!)- I successfully started out our morning with two complimentary mimosas. The rest of the day involved living the life of my counterpart- Carrie Bradshaw by going to Magnolia Bakery (which was very busy) so we opted out for another shop (in true Carrie fashion! I mean come on! Carrie doesnt wait in line for a cupcake to be put in a box! She goes to a little cafe to listen to french men and have her cupcake on a plate with a fork and a mint lemonade).

I also fell in love- and had my heart broken... by a pair of Nude Coach Wedges. Last pair in store- my size- adorable. This of course was the time my mom decided to teach me a lesson and say "life's decisions are tough"... no bueno.

Tonight's poem is "Rejuvenated Waterfall". Long story short- 2 old friends are trying to relive their lives. Finding things in common only for both of them to be bored and living in the past. PEOPLE NEED TO STOP DOING THIS. I see this everywhere (people not doing anything new with their lives in general, camp people digging for that old spark, anything along the lines of "remember when"). "YELLOW THORNED FLOWERS" - these are memories. Use them wisely. Let them make you better, observe, but dont touch. They will just leave you with a hint of pain. Stand by the waterfall. Yup. I worry. I worry when we part- you'll fill your room with the yellow thorned flowers and the rush of the waterfall will drown me out. I know it is ridiculous. I have the faith that it will be alright- but I'm human and I love when you remind me nothing is going to change. Thanks for that.

Be Seeing You

CANOLI!

whoever made this statue is a sick fuck. really? A person on the edge of the building?

good evening, wine.tequila.

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

-Mother Teresa

Today I feel that I have learned so much. I have found that you can lose everything and still have what you love dearest. I have learned that even with everything is here, when the world is right outside your window you can still ache when you lose that which once held you up. The biggest thing I've learned today though is that- i might rain, it might suck, but on a pretty day, you come outside and breathe and you listen and you grow. You are always growing. Even today's poem follows this pattern. It is titled "be seeing you". It talks about two people in a concentration camp who know they have lost everything they still grow. They still fall more in love- whether he is discussing his family, daughter, or maybe the woman of his dreams. We need to feel the burn, the stab, the churning- it's the only way we can know that it is real the next time around.

Today was once again a little more calm. I ate lunch at a new "irish" pub colonial themed place. The burger hit the spot. Around 4 I went to Union Square to people watch- shop- whatnot. (Sidenote: tequila makes her clothes fall off came on pandora--- some things are just way too true.) They had a wonderful farmers market. I participated in a few wine tasting and purchased this wine made of apples and peaches. VERY TASTY. I also made my way to Washington Square park where I heard a jazz band.

I also met a large, black woman who had her studio/home burn down a few weeks ago. As optimistic as can be- she insisted on singing Celine Dion to me in the middle of the city. It was lovely, and just left me smiling. No fear, this woman is such an inspiration to me.

Overall- I've discovered to cherish those close to me. Show them the best I can that they are everything to me. Sing to them- show them that I am still here. That I am still alive.Also- very excited to spend the fourth of july in texas- I'm on a country music kick!

"This city is for strangers, like the sky is for the stars"

-Jaymay

Yesterday in a few words...

• Yoga is amazing.
• Yankees lost. AROD homerun.
• Japanese Toy Store
• I want avocados

Plung...er

sand.art. day 1.

As terrible as that is- this only made me laugh.

"Don't threaten me with love, baby. Let's just go walking in the rain"

- Billie Holiday

Rain. all day. Gloomy, very, very gloomy. Then it got cold- too cold for me. Nothing amazing happened today. I see how people can become depressed in the city- Especially living alone. I am a little intimidated by my class. Everyone is so advanced and I feel like I've been thrown into pit filled with feathers and I just cant seem to get them to stick to me so I can fly out. Yeah- random, I know. However, Darla knows how to take care of me. She just knows. We found a really great coffee place. Honestly, the best latte I have EVER tasted. Read some news and just let everything from the day go into the coffee cake :) Tomorrow rain or not- I will make the best of it. The boyfriend is coming in for little Italy and a yankees game.

Also, plunger. CHECK. enough said.

In other news, I will be participating in Austin City Limits. If you haven't looked at the line up- I suggest you check it out. Thank you boyfriend and I love you.

Tonight's poem is entitled "Depature". Not too sure what I think of it. Only that the line "fag end of cheap dreams" seems to stand out. I feel like whatever his departure was- is similar to mine. We both have doubts. We both feel like we aren't going anywhere, we aren't maturing, not learning, not evolving- just sitting (eating). However, everyone around us insists that we are moving, evolving, turning, changing, relating. However, it ends with the line- "They'll scarcely catch me". My mistakes right now are just that- mistakes. Learning experiences so I can create something I will stand behind. Something I am proud of (no matter how shitty it might actually be). I can't be scared of myself anymore. I need to just own it. The only thing I like about my outlook on life is to have as many experiences as possible (even if they test/stress me). At least I can look back and say "hey- i fucking tried". I also pride myself on the ones I keep close to me. The ones I know are here to stay- and to you special few- you're everything to me.

I refuse to look at what these poems are actually about until after I write about them. If they are wrong, and you think I'm a complete dumbass that is okay. This is for me to figure out myself- not do a fucking english project.

Goodnight NYC. Stop raining. Go Yankees.

What the fuck are you doing?

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves"

-Henry David Thoreau

This city hates me. So many things went wrong yesterday (but then again so many things went right). I got yelled at by so many people because I was lost or confused! The line for my ID the guy yelled at me. I couldn't get my subway card to work and i kept holding people up and finally this guy yells at me "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?" to which I can only yell back "I DONT KNOW!!!!!" . Finally, someone helped me get through. The day just kept going like that- everything I tried failed miserably the first time around. However, things turned around. We went to meet my sister-in-law and her best friend for dinner near willamsburg at this place called sweetwater and well we kicked off our trip in style- with a pitcher of mojitos! I also spent a good portion of today trying to find a poetry book- not sure why- but I'm going to be reading a poem a night. Took me forever to find something I considered worth readings...

"Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake" - Wallace Stevens

When I graduated high school, I thought I knew everything about myself. I thought I knew what I wanted and to what extent I am willing to go after it. However, after my first year of college (about 2,000 miles away from my small town in Texas) I find that I have lost some of my drive. I find myself hiding from what I love- just because I'm not the best (or as unique as I thought). Four months ago, my best friend Darla asked me to run off to New York City to take a few courses at NYU with her. This was the PERFECT opportunity! Boyfriend nearby: YES. Editing classes: SWEET. Living with the girl who knows my worst moments: AMAZING. So now I'm here. So this is what I know about myself so far:

• I'm an Electronic Media Major, trying to find my concentration- probably editing?
• love makes you more "huggable" - especially when all ya'll do is cook! :)
• I make mean fajitas
• It's still too soon to make a movie about Nazi Zombies in the snow attacking teenagers
• I can't remember shit when I'm drunk (let alone sober)
• I know what it feels like to find someone who really cares about you, even when your mean drunk, crying, or PMSing