Black holes. They suck the life out of you. You smile, you try to trust, you want to crawl back into your childhood bed and watch cartoon and eat grilled cheese and swim in the pool.
The marrow is gone. The country music has flooded my itunes. I'm sick to my stomach.
Once again-
lost.
In this big.fucking.city.
August 16, 2009. That is the day everything changed. The day I flew to Miami, met my roommate, met my RA. That is probably my earliest memory (besides the most awkward lock-in at hillel). I had no friends, nothing familiar, i missed home. I missed my bed, i missed everything familiar. Suddenly I was surrounded with hot shorts and juicy handbags and wedges and bleach blonde bump-its. I had no one to eat with so she took me to get lunch at the wendy's in the food court. (chicken nuggets, please). I was trying so hard not to cry the entire time- i felt so lame for eating with my RA. Later on, i learned that that was the best move i made all semester. She helped me through so much and is possibly one of the coolest people i know.
If I could tell myself now how to handle first semester of school this is what i would have said:
*DO NOT. I Repeat DO NOT take shots in the corner of Bobby's room. You will be throwing up all saturday when you should have been writing that paper.
*you are never stuck in something, you are strong. you are better than this. No one deserves to be treated badly.
*some friends will always be there. ALWAYS.
* Do not take oceanography. It will make you shoot your brains out
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